Both one and the other (lostlollipop) wrote,
Both one and the other

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Happy birthday to Elijah Wood! Today he has reached the respectable age of 24 years. Many happy returns, Elijah!

Also, have written a little ficlet, my very first. It's dialogue fic, but I am very proud of it!

Title: Predicament
Author: Me
Pairing: DM/EW
Rating: R for language and references to naughtiness
Disclaimer: Not. True. I made it up. Don't sue, I have cute kids.
Summary: "We've got ourselves a bit of a problem then, haven't we?"
Warnings: Dialogue fic
Author's Note: Based off a new publicity campaign here in the Netherlands: "What Will YOU Do With Vaseline?" I mean, seriously. They're just asking for it.

"I can't find it!"

"In the cupboard above the sink, right next to the condoms!"

"It's not here, Lij."

"Of course it is!"



*sigh* "Well get off your lazy arse then and come see for yourself."




"It's not here."

"That's what I said."

"Maybe I've run out."

"We've got ourselves a bit of a problem then, haven't we?"

"Judging by the... ehm, state of you, I'd say yes, Dom."

"That's not funny, Doodle."


"Are you laughing at me?"

"No." *snort*

"Well good, because this is serious business. What kind of wanker forgets to stock lube when he has his devastatingly sexy and really fucking horny boyfriend coming over from Hawaii just for him?"

"It's not something one puts on one's list of groceries, Dom."

"Why not? It's on the top of my list."

"Go and get some then."

"It's two in the fucking morning, Lij."

"Well, if you're so fucking set on this, use something else!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Try the kitchen. There must be something you can use."



"Something smells really funky in your fridge, Lij."

"I know."

"And you really ought to consider buying healthier food."

"I fucking know, Sblom, can we get to the matter at hand, please?"

"Hmmm... salad oil perhaps, or... mayonaise?"

"That's disgusting, Dom."

"So it is. How about yoghurt? With bits of strawberry in it."


"All right, all right, forget the bloody fridge. What have we here... ooohh, toilet disinfectant!"

"Dom... get out of the fucking kitchen."

"Okay, bathroom... lots of slippery stuff here... shampoo?"

"I don't want shampoo up my ass."

"Well, forget it, then. Maybe Mr. Hand and I can solve this problem by ourselves."

"Wait! I have an idea!"

"Fuck yeah, Elijah! You're a genius!"

"I know. Now fuck me."





"Unh... Elijah! Oh, FUCK, LIJ, FUCK!"




"And to think I almost missed that."

"I know. Thank God for Vaseline."
Tags: dialogue, fic, one-off

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